Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

This is a popular psalm usually read at funerals. It was read at my dad's funeral and also at my mother-in-law's. And it will be read at my mom's.

Wow. I said it. My mom's funeral. She died this morning, January 11. She went to heaven to be with Jesus and especially with Dad. She missed him. It was much too sudden, though. We really didn't get a chance to tell her goodbye. I did, however, pray with her, and told her to watch for Jesus and to go with him when he came for her, or if Dad came - to go with him and give him a hug for us. We miss him, too. And now - we miss Mom.

I like this verse because it reminds me that God is always with me- through everything. This verse gives me comfort - as I hope it comforts those around me.

Tonight I am praying for my sister Anne and her husband Doug - who were caretakers to Mom since Dad died and even for the five months leading up to his death. They made themselves available to help with dinners, taking care of Abby (their dog), taking them to the Dr's appts, and they even took Mom on some of their vacations. They devoted the last 2 1/2 yrs to caring for Mom (and Dad). They sacrificed many things to help Mom out. And for that - I am especially appreciative toward them. I am keeping their kids in my prayers too: Grant, Emily, Mark, Chris and Jon.

I am praying for my brother Dave and his wife Kathy, and their four kids (Pete, Jim, Liz and Allison).

I am praying for my brother Tim and his wife Martha and their two kids (Matt & Emily).

Each of these families are dear to me - and their children. And I know that each child has a special place in their heart for Grandma Shafer, as they have one for Grandpa, too.

I am also praying for our children: for Amy and Larry (husband) and their four kids (Natalie, Alyssa, Lauren and Noah); for Mike and Cara (wife); for Sarah and Justin (husband); for Alicia and Joel (husband); for Heather; and for Jennifer.

I have seen even the "step"grandchildren had a special relationship with mom. I was so touched by the girls' response after hearing that my mom had passed away. I told Barry "I am so glad that my parents welcomed you and your girls into the family five years ago." and he agreed - it was such a blessing to know that my parents loved them - as if they were there forever.

I am touched by all of the grandchildren and their relationship with my mom (and the one they had with my dad). I have a few memories with my grandparents but they don't seem to come close to what these kids have with theirs. I might think it has to do with proximity - but most of the grandkids live out of state. So, I must say kudos to us - to my brothers and sister and myself - for keeping our children active in our parents' lives - when our children were little but also when they had grown. Because the love these kids have with their grandma is deep and wide- like an ocean. The love is endless. It is awesome.

I am still in disbelief, though - that my mom is gone. I need to cry. I know I will at some point. For now - I will think of her often and reminisce of the special times we had together. Another day I will journal some of those memories for the grandkids. I am so thankful to have been a part of her life.

Mom - I love you so much. Thanks for being there for me- especially when I was younger. I know you were on my side alot - cause you were the youngest of four kids, just like me. I'm sorry for the times I disappointed you and dad. Thanks for forgiving me. Thanks for giving me unconditional love and supporting me when I was a single parent. I couldn't have done it without you. Thanks for teaching me about flowers or atleast how to weed around them (though I wish you had stopped adding more gardens to your property). I'm sorry I didn't gain your love for sewing or knitting. I can't add cooking, cause I know you didn't like that either. And though this might sound strange - thanks for not showing me how to use makeup or do my nails - you've saved me a lot of money over the years! Thanks for sharing your love of travel with me - I love it too. And I'm slowly learning where all of the dirt roads in Crawford County lead to. Thanks for always pointing out the hawks and eagles on our road trip - I handed that down to my kids too. I could go on and on. You taught me a lot and I really appreciate it. Thanks. I hope to do as well with my own kids and grandkids. I love you. I'll see you again - in heaven.